how do you deal with an ambush?

I disagree with the statement “I don’t trust or respect you” – it may well be that the bushwhackers consider an ambush necessary because they respect you so highly that they feel they must have all their ducks in a row before broaching an issue, and that what they want to consider or reveal is highly contentious. It is a valid ploy, and has to be accepted as part of the game.

That being said, the first rule is “Don’t (over) react”. Sit back, listen, make them lay out the whole plot, don’t pick up on points mid-way, concentrate and take the whole picture in. There are bound to be revelations that you consider to be negatives, otherwise there would be no need for an ambush; look past these to understand the positives that the plot is supposed to bring. Try to achieve a balanced view in spite of the circumstances.

If you can evaluate it on the spot, and form a solid conclusion and good arguments in respect of aspects you wish to contend then do so, and once they have finished their pitch ask them to address these aspects (reveal them one at a time). Only do this if you have enough information to win “on the spot”, they have prepared, but you haven’t.

If it’s all too much to deal with now say so, “Obviously this is all news to me, you’ve sprung it on me today, I haven’t had time to give it mature consideration and I’m not prepared to respond to it now. Let’s schedule a follow-up meeting next week to make a decision”. Force deferral of discussion on the basis of their ambushing behaviour, and in doing so deny them the advantage of the ambush – you may actually turn the ambush to their disadvantage by insisting on deferral. They have revealed their plot without gain.

Whatever you do do, don’t be bludgeoned into agreeing with anything! Sit back, keep quiet and listen, make them do the work and then take control. You almost certainly can take control, and the bushwhackers know it, otherwise the ambush tactic would not have been needed.

I agree with Steve regarding the need to keep your immediate reaction in check and to listen to presentation.

Depending on the tone, conclusions presented, etc, the viewer can usually discern the purpose of the presentaion. Place blame; creating cover (without placing blame; etc

The other consideration is the venue. If there are others viewing the presentation, keep in mind that they are also drawing conclusions and not just on what is presented but possibly your reaction.

To some degree, an ambush devolves from some kind of weakness, real of perceived, on the part of the abusher, or strength, real or perceived, on the part of the ambushee and, in general terms, whatever tactical advantage is granted by the ambush can be counteracted by playing to those strengths. If he ambusher feels confidence at a distance, with planning, or with elaborate support or cover or devices (Powerpoint presentation, machine gun, explosives, whatever), the ambushee can throw him off his game by staying in the moment, staying in close, up close and personal, and using the spontaneity that the ambusher fears, BUT being careful, in a game of words to stay away from topics or commitment to courses of action, that drive him into strategically weak positions or limit his choices. Power is usually on the side of maximal choice. I googled “ambush,’ because I am wondering how Sheriff Rick Grimes in “The Walking Dead” os gpoing to deal with the ambush he KNOWS is coming next week at the Feed Store from The Governor and his larger group of people LESS experienced at ‘in close,’ hand-to-hand combat. I wonder if there is anyone here that follows that show?

Sorry to barge in before I understood the context. I guess that would be an example of an “unplanned ambush,” for which nobody has any respect UNLESS, you can find your feet and contribute to the discussion. All I want to say is that in ANY ambush situation, there is a point of view that calls for ‘seizing the moment,’ after which an opportunity is lost. Let’s say, for example, there is an ‘elephant in the room’ that goes completely unmentioned or is glossed over in the ‘carefully planned preparation’ which constitutes the ‘ambush’, which you happen to have some familiarity with, that, perhaps, has caused you to hang back until now, out of some sense of responsibility or a completely different sense of values. Even if you don’t have a solution, the moment that might offer the greatest leverage for that differing point of view might be right after the “big presentation” of the ‘other’ point of view, leveraging it as a ‘stalking horse’ to your own. It all depends on the situation, the audience, how passionate you are, and how willing you are to let that passion overcome your fear and keep you in the moment. Besides choice, the most powerful tool is passion. The Dao says (in one translation-there are many) “Caring is an Invincible Weapon from the Sky against being dead.” (I think it’s the end of chapter 54). But, as has been legitimately mentioned: Passion with Preparation. Only you can know, and that’s where it gets scary, because there are no rules out on that edge!